I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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