I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
