Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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