I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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