He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
