Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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