Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The air was thick with penises
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
