She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
