Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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