Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
