she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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