the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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