they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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