clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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