OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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