They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
In America we eat man semen.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
