were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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