Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Operation Purity has been aborted
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
