Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
