Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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