totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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