Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
