...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
