She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
