Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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