Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
