She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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