And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
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and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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