I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
