Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
