No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
