Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dick very happy bro
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
