me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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