that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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