...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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