we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
