fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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