Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize