I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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