i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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