His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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