Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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