hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
