ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
