Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
