Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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