I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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