I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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