I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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