garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize