When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
