I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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