You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The beer is more important than you right now.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
