Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize