I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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