Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
40s are totally the cure
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
