I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
